Pink desert pants, and other failed objectives

Hi guys. I'm back from Israel. I know, I know: you thought I was just being my reclusive hermit self for weeks on end again. Well, I chose a bigger closet to dissapear into this time. And by dissapear, I mean I was swallowed by a land of red sandy dirt where my carefully chosen baby pink desert pants never came in handy and all my good intentions regarding daily journaling and catching up on my required course reading were thrown out the window of the plane taking me (but not my luggage) from Vienna to Tel Aviv. I don't know how many of you have ever read the one and only science fiction series written by Stephen R. Lawhead, called, um, um, dang nam it Nolan went to bed so I can't go into his room to look for the bloody thing to verify the title. It might be "Dome." I read it Christmas 2004 when visiting my mom's side of the family in Ontario. I felt very much an outsider there and therefore empathised with the series' main character, whose name I can't remember either...sort of like the password for my blog... Anyways, the trilogy explores what happens to a colony of settlers who land on a paradise-like planet but never venture outside of their safe, sterilized, dome-covered city. After a few major biological-engineering-virus mishaps, they devolve into a paranoid, autocratic society built on a weird mix of technology, superstition/religion, strict societal roles dependant on clan, status, and gender, and hedonism. So alien, but so familiar. So ancient, but so new. So proud, but so full of fear. So confused. That was my first impression of Israel/Palestine. I have so many things I want to tell you, show you. I ended up promising a lot of people that I would pray for peace in Palestine and tell the people I know about what I saw happening there. However, it occurred to me in the week before my return that I don't really know who you are. Particularly if I met you at Epic. I've gone back on Sunday evenings twice since my arrival home August 1. I didn't recognise many people. The people I did recognise I didn't know how to approach- I don't know anything about their lives right now. It's kind of embarrassing. I really wish I did know you. I wish you knew me. I'm just afraid that you're going to overwhelm me, or that I will dissapoint you becuase I never have enough time to give you the kind of quality friendship you need and deserve. I don't really know what to do about that. I guess it would help if I started trying to just accept/enjoy my friendships for what they are and stop always trying to prophesize where they're going or what they might cost me. [Jen, you taught me that.] I really need to go to bed. I don't want to start crying at my driving lesson again tommorow. And I think I'll get rid of my pink pants. Maybe one day I'll look into why I am so irresistably drawn to clothing of a colour I loath wearing. But not tonight.

Day is dying in the west Angels watching over me, my Lord Sleep my child and take your rest Angels watching over me All night, all day Angels watching over me, my Lord All night, all day Angels watching over me.